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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

finally

i've got access to the internet. for a long long time more.

ahha. dad let me keep the modem with me. :)

ah. well.

oh. yes............

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELO BOY!!!!



bwahaha.

ya Allah. jahatnya kakak dia. heheheheee...

anyways, Aiz turns 9 today. ahahaha. *hugs him*

happy birthday monster number four. ahha. we're having a birthday party for him tmr.

conversation in the car with mum about the party :

mum : "hey! maybe we could have that game.. you know, you could draw a donkey on a huge sheet of mahjong paper then we could blindfold the kids and make them pin the tail on the donkey."
me : " nah. that's so westernized. we use something local lah.. like cat or... *shrugs* you know.."
mum : *thinks* "Oh! or you could draw a huge pontianak then we could make the kids stick the paku (nail) on her! *sounds positively delighted* Ya! Ya! then cannot stick on the head you know! must stick right in the throat. *beams*"


and ppl wonder why i have a sick sense of humour.

wokay. er. have to go wrap presents. with beautiful $2.10 wrapping paper. *mutters gibberish*

even i don't get wrapping paper that expensive.

+++

i miss farhan.

+++

out.

Hana Last Blogged At
1:10 AM


Tuesday, August 30, 2005

shitzach turns and does a headstand

ahha. i had the MOST BELO-EST, BENGONG-EST, SELENGE-EST day ever.

I deserve an award. bwahaha. here are the steps for you to win your OWN belo award! yipee!

step one : call up your boss one hour prior to arriving at work to tell him that you're not coming on time because you're sleepy and you can't get up. sleep until the alarm rings for the fifth consecutive snooze then get up and sms your boyfriend to tell him you're late for work. make him laugh so that you feel better about yourself then continue to get ready for work.

step two : arrive for work an hour after it is supposed to open. take your time opening the pushcart. INSERT ALL LOCKS OF THE PUSH CART INTO YOUR BUTTERFLY PURSE AND ZIP IT TIGHT LEST ANYONE TRIES TO STEAL IT.

step three : call your collegue to tell her you can't remember if the tray for the kid's bracelets was supposed to be on the right side or the left side of the pushcart. tell her further that you have no idea if the sandalwood bag is to the left or the right of the tray of kid's bracelets.

step four : get the lady from the neighbouring pushcart to buy you STARBUCKS COFFEE. (she blanja some more) exchange stories containing self-pity (e.g : how cold the air-con is, my eyes are half shut, *cough cough* i'm getting sick, etc etc etc)

step five : wait for the boss to come with stock. spend the next two hours organizing earrings. make the push cart nice and tidy. serve customers who do not buy from you. ok lah. one nice cute little old couple spent about eighty dollars at my pushcart with choruses of, "Why that's LOVELY!! Lovely!!" :)

step six : wait an extra half hour after your shift is supposed to be over for the person who is supposed to take over your shift. that. was. a. mouthful. i. am. sleepy. forgive. me.

step seven : hand over the money for the day to your collegue. yes. the one who came late. DO NOT HAND OVER THE LOCKS. (if you do, you will not receive the award.)

step eight : happily leave and tell the next door lady to get a lot of rest. walk with a limp (caused by your heels) all the way around orchard road to get your best friend her birthday present then limp back to the train station.

step nine : go home and spend the next hour with your youngest brother who wants a happy meal. only eat the medium twister fries, declare you're full, then order two more chicken foldovers, two apple pies and large twister fries. oh. then you can go home.

step ten : wait for a call half an hour prior to the closing of the pushcart. it will be your collegue asking you where you have placed the locks to the pushcart. :)

step eleven : exclaim, "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" while jumping around the house, then call all the important ppl to tell them that the locks are with you in a little residence in Admiralty.

step twelve : ask your dad nicely if he can send you to Centerpoint in the middle of the night for the sake of four little locks that just happened to be in your possesion. smile widely once he says yes.

step thirteen : ride the bike at a hundred km per hour on the highway so that your collegue doesn't get have to spend the night in Centerpoint. sms your boyfriend on the highway to tell him that you're the bengong-est person on Earth. laugh out loud when he agrees. reach Centerpoint with fifteen minutes to spare. hand over the locks to your collegue and run back to the bike.

step fourteen : convieniently forget to bring raincoats. get your father to accelerate even faster ~ this is to get home in quicker time and with (un)logically dryer clothes. laugh out loud because your teeth are chattering in the cold and the raindrops are tiny little needles on your clothes and skin. yes. the one without the raincoat.

step fifteen : reach home and yell for a towel at the front door. tip over your converse sneakers to pour out the rainwater.

step sixteen : make more lame jokes.

step seventeen : blog. laugh at yourself.

step eighteen : go to bed.

haha. nights!

Hana Last Blogged At
1:01 AM


Saturday, August 27, 2005

shitzach falls away to nothingness

finally. sigh.

waiting waiting waiting for the exam results.. *prays*

work has not been as stressful. :) go to work. smile and hundreds of ppl. get them to buy many many many expensive stuff. count money like a retard. go home.

am working with wonderful ppl. haha. there's kak noor, the still-beautiful mother of four. whose six-year-old son Heefzaan has met my dysfunctional family and apparently wants to live at my house and never go back. haha. she made my eyes open a BIT more to the world. thank you dear. (although i doubt you'll be reading this lah. hehe. you're too busy talking to Miki about.. babies and pregnancy. and all other things to do with the birds and the bees. *weirded out face* *beams*)

met another darling of a girl HAZLINA!!! she's my SECOND SAYANG!!! hahahaha.. siao one lah that girl. *laughs* on the second day we started working together, she was calling me darling and sayang etc etc.. pass me this and that.. hahaha.. Sayang number one don't jealous ok. Hehe. Hazlina is SHORTER than me and likes to wear Wedges and many many many stuff from the shop. SHE CAN'T STOP SHOPPING. I think she'll die from lack of shopping and from lack of swiping of her NETS card. She bullies me and scolds me also. Hahahaha.. Ok. That last part was a big fat lie. :p

My two new Kakaks, Kak Hana (i know. heah weird) and Kak Indah. Hahaha. Two very cool sales ppl. I AIM to sell stuff like them man. I'm SO opening a shop of my own. Just see if i don't. They make women buy their products like these women are rolling in money. Hundreds of dollars and they still come back for more. I'm so glad i don't really shop. *shudders* the way some women spend. SHEEEEESH. Haha. Not that i'm NOT guilty of making women spend money lah horh. HEHEHEHE. i made this lady spend about $140 dollars on four necklaces. *beams*

then there's Miki, the boss of the neighbouring shop. SHE IS DAMN FUNNY LAAAAH. Hahaha.. She asks EVERYBODY about their sex life and was HORRIFIED (open mouthed and all) when i told her there was none in my world? hahahaha.. and she said : "Why not? We must test them first leii!!" Hahaha.. And i said, "Like.. test drive ah?" "Ya lorh! If not, how you know whether they can perform??" -_- *laughs* she's pregnant with her first baby and she cracks me up everyday. oh. her future husband is pretty funny too. he rarely says anything and he cracks the rest of us up all the same.

+++

This is a long entry. Ahha. Suppressed blogging urges. Ah well.

+++

the world has finally uprighted itself...... i think.

home is still in a state of war, tensions up and like, shtuff. bah. i hate being a buffer. BLEARGH. *stomps around*

stopped a couple of tuitions, to make time for myself and the monsters and the superwoman. wow. i just realised i missed them. *smiles* it's a good thing they started working around my schedule as well. now it's late nights at Mustafa center, or washing the car at 1230 am, or jamming at 1 am. *small smile* thank you monsters for making my nights. i love you all.

and i LOOOOVVVVEEEEEEE the new module i'm taking : International Relations. For the FIRST BLOODY TIME IN HISTORY, i don't fall asleep in ALL the lectures. Hahaha.. i'm actually irked by that. wahahaha. i know siao. ok, i'm irked cause. cheh. ntah. i don't know. hahaha. *blabbers nonsense* the lecturer is this really funny old man ah. he is SO weeeuuuuurrrrddd. hhahaa. he beams and it threatens to crack his face. and THAT is a HEEEUUUGE grin. and his name is Tan Kah Beng.. something something. haha. i think lah. and i'm so surprised at myself when i write pages and pages of notes for his lectures. for the first time, i don't have to stare at my handwriting and wonder what he was talking about. so cool ey? (in fact, i think i shall go study after this. :D)

not really happy with myself about ONE thing. sigh. i feel like i'm not trying my best, and at the same time, i feel that that's the most i can do. HAHAHAHAHA. ape je. *shrugs*

i want to watch SERENDIPITY. BAH. lent a couple of movies to Kak Noor for her to watch in front of her tv till she passes out. WAHAHA.

i saved my best for last.

i couldn't update because of. yeah.

Farhan Suhada

Where do i even begin?

You've been the saviour of this life. You held me when i was at my lowest. You took the utter nonsense i dished out, and still came back for more. You held my hand when i was hurting. You still held it when i hurt you.

So many times you could just have given up. But you didn't. Because you told me you didn't want stupid glitches to ruin this wonderful little world we have.

I miss you at odd times. :) At even times i sms you. (what a lame joke. but i BET Sayang just laughed. :D)

I wonder at the strength of you, and how you came to be mine. I think God gave me such a wonderful present in the form of You.

Some boys are nice to look at, others are nice to talk to.

But i wouldn't mind just sitting next to you for the rest of my life, not looking at you, not talking to you. Just feeling loved and happy being next to you, and knowing you feel the same way about me.

*laughs* like Pi says, "Kita duduk dalam rocking chair kita sampai jadi abuk.." We'll sit in our rocking chairs and turn to dust together. Yes. My brother is seldom known for his romantism. :)

Some (and by that i meant one) has said that i'm wasting my time waiting for you. But (OBVIOUSLY) i beg to differ.

In some relationships you keep wondering to yourself, "Is he the one?" In others, it's "What if he's not the one? *worry worry worry*"

With Farhan, i don't even NEED to think about it. It's just the simplicity of knowing he'll be there when i'm down, even if he's angry or disappointed in me. He would put (haha) most of the hard feelings aside and hold my hand. Tell me he's there. Wait patiently for me to tell him what's wrong.

And can you IMAGINE?? He's doing it when he is SO FAR AWAY. I call that INCREDIBLE.

Sayang, i just wanted to say, Thank you.

Thank you for everything you've given me. Your love, your heart, you. I couldn't ask for more (except maybe for time to go faster. haha. and your serendipity DVD. khehehe.)

i love you, and i know i'll love you for the rest of my life, knwoing you're the boy who made me the person i am today.

cheers darling! for many more years to come..

*smiles*

happy belated anniversary...

yours, hana.

+++

out.

Hana Last Blogged At
8:29 AM


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

hey for a little while

world is pretty i don't know. frustrating at the moment.

i'm very very grateful to the boy 'cause he's been there. holding my hand.

sometimes all i want to do is shout out at the world. to be outwardly angry. to say the things i really mean.

but i don't.

and i still can't figure out why.

maybe i'm scared of making someone angry? or sad? sigh.

i've never been one to volunteer to be the bad guy. to tell someone the truth.

hah. what truth. i think it's just life. life's just making me crazy.

i wish i could be happy. for. *shrugs*

then again, i wish farhan was here in singapore.

we can't have everything.

with that comes the irritatingness at home. sigh.

i want to shout at somebody. i really do.

mum said : pukul anak sindir menantu.

right. as always.

i wish i could say sorry and mean it. sigh. but how do i when i don't even know how i feel about it? i wish things could be easier understood. but i don't understand any of it.

not that i don't want to.

sigh.

i hate feeling hollow. like i've lost an arm.

time flies and change occurs. yup yup. it's not as easy to feel unaffected by it.


++++

i don't make sense and i don't care.

5 months to go. 152 days. hmm.

it's ok. you're still with me. i love you.

to the best friend : life's been rocky for you. i'm sorry i haven't really been there. sigh. catch up with you soon. i hope. *hugs* life's been horribly unpredictable. take care dear.

to whoever else who actually comes here : ahha. sorry lah. work. work. work. :) take care ppl.

good night. and back to the shitzach. ahha. nehmind.

Hana Last Blogged At
11:56 PM


Tuesday, August 02, 2005

won't be updating for a while.

busy busy busy.

haha.

sorry.

:)

will be back. ntah bila. haha.




i miss this t shirt.

and also the boy who belongs to it.

sigh.

Hana Last Blogged At
1:16 AM


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