Sunday, November 30, 2003

fonts and whatnots.

Hello.. got this cool font out some harry potter site.. rocks.. Anyway, it's been a while since I heard from Asran.. Don't think i'm going to hear from him any time soon.. That's just too bad.. But really, I think I've finally gotten over him ... THANK GOD... hahaha...

Besides... ok, there are no other guys in my life right now, so that kind of sucks... hahaha... But he'll be there... sure of it... I mean, my romantic notions will be so wasted if nobody comes into my life right? WAHAHAHA...

Yeah, hana,,, Kid yourself some more.. What ever lah... I'll probab;y break the guy in two.. Just like I did so many others... Yeah, that's me.. Heartbreaker.. WAHAHAHA...

Labels: Harry Potter, unnecessary posting

Must Have Been Love

Lay a whisper on my pillow,
leave the winter on the ground.
I wake up lonely,
there's air of silence in the bedroom
and all around
Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away.

It must have been love but it's over now.
It must have been love but I lost it somehow.
It must have been love but it's over now.

From the moment we touched, 'til the time had run out.
Make-believing we're together that I'm sheltered by your heart.
But in and outside I've turned to water like a teardrop in your palm.
And it's a hard winters day, I dream away.

It must have been love but it's over now.
It's all that I wanted, now I'm living without.
It must have been love but it's over now,
it's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows.

It Must Have Been Love - Roxette

Labels: song writes

Monday, November 24, 2003

One Last Cry

My shattered dreams and broken
Heart are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands standing so close to someone else
Now I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you?
Nothing for me to do?
But have one last cry

CHORUS:
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind, this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to one last cry
I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you,
I need some love to rain on me
Still, I sit all alone,
Wishing all my feelings were gone
Gotta get over you?
Nothing for me to do?
But have one last cry

- One Last Cry

Labels: song writes

uh.

Mat totally didn't answer my sms. That shows dunnit? Okay, maybe he's busy. Yeah, maybe... I hope so. I mean, who can't send a simple message right? And i know him. he will send a message in reply.

I guess he's really angry with me, whatever that means. I mean, you can't please everybody right? SOmeone's bound to get hurt in my silly nonsense. I hate this lah... Might as well don't get a boyfriend right? It sucks. Really. Sigh. Why? WHy?

Labels: unnecessary posting

that little glimmer that's killing me.

me and fahrur have also reached a verdict.. he asked me why he shouldn't get his hopes up... and i told him the truth, even though it hurt him. He's a good little boy scout... I told him i couldn't see an us in the future... and even then, i don't thing anybody can get past the vision of Asran.. This really sucks... He's always haunting my every thought.

totally ruins everything..

But i can't help the fact that a small glimmer of hope still lives in me. That we can still be. Asran was the first guy in my life... I hope he's not the last. Truly. That'll suck big time.... HAHAHAH...

Labels: daily wheedling

Over again.

hello.. it's been a while since i posted something on this bloody thing... well, that's because lots of things have happened and i was really busy.. anyways, me and Asran have talked stuff through...

He says that he can't love me, he can't give me happiness. Well... it's over then i guess. i had a dream of him last night... we were really happy. and i heard that if you remember what happens in your dreams, it ain't gonna happen in real life, so....

Looks like i'll just have to keep him in my dreams...

Labels: daily wheedling

Cry Me A River

You were my sun
You were my earth
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet you didn't think your thing would come crashing down, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from him
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things people told me
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it
(Yea..)

-Cry Me A River

Labels: song writes

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Linger

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure i'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything
And i swore, i swore i would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But i'm in so deep
You know i'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, i thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But i was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie

Linger- Cranberries

Labels: song writes

Your Boyfriend Sucks

You're better off without him
Don't call him
He's breaking your heart.

He's hanging with your best friend
And you're waiting there
It's tearing you apart.

He lied to you a thousand times,
When i was there he kept you waiting.

And i'm still here waiting there
To catch you if you fall.
I don't know why i care so much
When i shouldn't care at all.

Finally got the nerve to tell you
How much you mean to me
You said that i was your best friend,
A real sweet guy
But that's all i'd ever be.

The Ataris- Your Boyfriend Sucks

Labels: song writes

Revealed.

Yes!!!!!!!!!

Hahaha... One week of not answering Asran's message... So proud of meself.... Hehehe... As i keep telling myself, it's all about timing... Hahaha...

Anyways, Mat hasn't been speaking to me... sigh... yeah, be like that.. SOme nagging part of me knows that my occasional outings with Fahrur are the cause. Well, thankfully, this time he hasn't been making a big deal out of it... yes, yes, i am evil...

But is it evil that i can't love him anymore? oh i know i had feelings for him.. but were they feelings of love? or fondness? i think it has to be the latter. sigh.. yes, poor him.. guilt.

And Fahrur... has been typically Fahrur.. well, basically, i'm glad that i know i can't ever love him like i did some other monster.. (ahha) at least i won't make the same mistake i did with Mat. He'll just be my friend Roo.

Will write something else later.. Toodles!!

Labels: unnecessary posting, unrequited rants

Friday, November 07, 2003

Faint

I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints, but I can help the fact, that everybody can see these scars
What I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand, I do what I can, but sometimes I don't make sense
I say what you never wanna say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, for once just to hear me out

So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got

Linkin Park - Faint

Labels: song writes

Love.

{ The Meaning Of Love }

Here's what it says about "love" in the dictionary.

Love:

- A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

- A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

- An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

- A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

Labels: poetic views

And it keeps on coming.

Two more days to the DREADED A's... Hmm... And it's like really taking a toll on some of my friends.. I smsed H this morning, and he was sort of stressed.. Yeah, man, I know the feeling... Doubt you'll read this, but hey.... hahaha...

So today is day three of "Not Answering S"... Someone called me this morning... Hmmm... COuld it be him? Heheheh... Maybe, maybe not... Well, what the hell... Don't really care... The person just listened to my voice, then hung up... HELLO? It's like a common courtesy to say hello back, isn't it? I mean, it's like a law or something... HAHaha...

Labels: unnecessary posting, unrequited rants

Thursday, November 06, 2003

I love you?

Is it indeed so? If I lay here dead,
Wouldst thou miss any life in losing mine?
And would the sun for thee more coldly shine
Because of grave-damps falling around my head?
I marvelled, my Beloved, when I read
Thy thought so in the letter. I am thine-
But... so much to thee? Can I pour thy wine
While my hands tremble? Then my soul, instead
Of dreams of death, resumes life's lower range.
Then love me, Love! look on me-breathe on me!
As brighter ladies do not count it strange,
For love, to give up acres and degree,
I yield the grave for thy sake, and exchange
My near sweet view of Heaven, for earth with thee!

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Labels: poetic views

-_-

It's day two of the "not answering S contest... " haha... we'll just see how long i can last without sending him a message.. sigh...

anyways.. it's like three more days to my first paper.. i'm like... oooookay.. scared i guess.. but okay. not going to do stupid stunts or anything....

okie.. got to go..

Labels: unrequited rants

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

I have a Jap Name!

Yoshimi - "Happy Beauty"
Sponsored by www.life-blood.cjb.net


What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

Labels: quizzes

and again.

ALo.. haha.. you know, i had a post.. really.. then the modem went off and i pressed post and... well... got angry.. ahha...

guess what? Mr S... sms ed me tonight... i SERIOUSLY dunno what to do about it... On one hand i'm like, here's your chance to talk to him.. on the other hand... i just want to wait and see what happens.. I mean, all these past months, weeks, days, I was the one who went after him, contacted him..

well, i didn't sms him back lah... it took that one bloody sms and my tummy started doing stupid stunts again... I jump everytime an sms comes in.. wondering whether it would be him.. this is getting so sick...

in my last post, i was so certain that i had gotten over him.. i only needed God in my life.. he has been the only one thing that has been constant in my life besides my family members.. I do feel closer to God.. very much..

And now.. he ups and smses.. and i go like... oh man.... i really want this guy! gah... i know it's stupid.. you let go of him, then he comes back and at the drop of a hat, you forgive him...

So confused...

Labels: unrequited rants

Saturday, November 01, 2003

pissed.

AAAAARGH!!! is every thing trying their best to piss me off? Phuh... whatever...
Haaiz.. ANyway, just wanted to say that H has been kinda weird lately... Maybe he got the 'I have A crush on you' vibe... hahaha... whatever..
About S... Well,... I dunno anymore.. It's kinda dumb if you think about it... He doesn't return my messages, he doesn't answer my calls... DOESN'T THAT TELL YOU ENOUGH? HE BLOODY DOES NOT CARE!!!
Guys.. Guys... You'd think they would make our lives all the much easier by growing on trees or something... but NOOOO... they'd rather make our lives difficult by playing mind games like these... Phuh...
Yes... We can still go out... No, no strings attached.. Yes I care about you... No, I don't want to answer your calls... AAARGH!!! And I just had to fall for the worst one...

Labels: unrequited rants

short.

hello... lots been going on at camp PJC... dunno.. sometimes i get the feeling that they're talking about me... haha..
oh yeah.. did i say my brother's an ass? well, okie, not all the times, only the times that count..

Labels: rants

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Random Words Specialist
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